牛 (New) Beginnings

恭喜发财 & A Prosperous Lunar New Year to all!

With less than 6 hours to go for the turn of the 牛 year, and also another half hour until my Reunion dinner (^_^), its time to put the past year again into memory, and, looking forward, aspire for new experiences and opportunities in this Year of the Ox.

With regards to the previous entry, I feel a lot better now. I finally am able to put my past mistakes and persistent irrationalities behind me. But enough of the past, & look forward to 15 days of festivities! Scrumptious food. New clothes. Open house events. Gatherings. So much to look forward to!

And after all that, I'm certain that the Year of the Ox would be a fresh start for all & worth looking forward to. Happy Holidays!

Hesitant from the Start

"Why Hesitate" by Henry Gillard Glindoni (1899)

When you want to profess that you like her, you hold yourself back for fear of the outcome of rejection & gossip.

When you could have the courage to declare your true feelings to her, you hesitate for fear of a worst outcome.

When you want to hold her hand, you dare not for fear that she shies away from you.

When you could have delivered gestures of interest (flowers or gifts), you dismiss that thought for fear that she would return it back.

When you should have shared your true troubles with her, a candidate for lifetime companionship, you instead resort to keeping it inside or disclosing it to other much closer friends.

When you should have invested more time to probe for actual signs of interest, you'd rather busy yourself with short term distractions.

Now she has found her own candidate. You are only able to wish her well, that her future mate would likely provide for her needs & wants.

Heartbroken you are still sitting in that same dark corner. Lonely. Crying. Perhaps drunk even.

It does not serve as a consolation that it was all in your mind. A fabrication of false expectations & perceived reality.

However, licking your emotional wounds, you know this experience had made you stronger. Hopefully, in future, you would be all the wiser.

But how much punishment can a man take? Must one always be pushed to choose either to bend or break?

No... Wait... Let us recollect: You have always been hesitant from the start.

All this talk about Like; Love; Heart; Her. Are you really seeking for your soulmate? Or are you merely wanting her simply for the purpose of matching your peers who have found their better half?

Search your heart; Search your soul. When you're finally there, you'll search no more.
(This was part of the lyrics from "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams)

Then, probably you would not be hesitant no more.

My Finale for Year 2008

X'mas Reunion.
Company Dinner.
Tour guide in Kuala Lumpur.
Fallout 3 on Xbox360.
& stone drunk after the new year coutdown.

Sounds like an eventful week before new year's day to me!
Happy 2009 to all netizens!