A Mother's Tale on a Mother's Day

The names of all characters in the following tale has been modified to prevent nosy ppl from bothering the main characters from leading a normal, non-celebrity life. =P

A Tale of Healing on a Mother's Day

Aaron's childhood friend, Jenn, visited us on Wesak Day from Kampar. We were informed that her 86 years' old mother suffered a stroke 2 months ago and is now bed-ridden with left-sided paralysis. As all her 10 children are married and scattered at different places, the old lady is now cared for by her eldest brother, 59-year old Jean, who is a single-parent with a jobless 30-year old son. Aaron was very much sadden by the news as he has fond memories of this dear old lady who worked very hard to bring up her 10 children; he wanted to visit her ASAP. To be supportive to my husband, I agreed to accompany him to visit this fond auntie the very next day: Mother's Day.

We had roti for breakfast and left KL for Kampar at 10a.m. We arrived at our destination around midday. We found them living in a tiny little apartment on the ground floor. A bed is placed in the living room for her to sleep, intended for easy supervision and for her convenience to watch TV to pass her time. But, I didn't think she was watching TV as she was lying in bed stiff and motionless when we arrived. She could not turn herself from side to side. However, it was good to see that she could recognize us when we greeted her (since we visited her during the previous Chinese New Year).

After we found out the full details about the events which led to her stroke attack, we suggested to Jean to position his mother straight on a chair. She was indeed very spastic when we moved her from bed to chair. She had no control over her left hand and leg; and her speech was slurred and weak that I could hardly understand what she said. Her skin is severely dehydrated. Her limbs appeared covered by waxpaper-like texture which could easily bleed with pressured grips.

I immediately started to feed her with lots of the energized water from my Flask which we prepared for her, and also spraying energized water over her face, neck and head with gentle massaging. Aaron prepared 2 buckets of warm water with the Pendant inserted to each bucket of water to energize the water. I placed another Pendant for her to wear (where her head rested
over it), & another pendant in her right hand to hold but she could not grip pendant on her left hand due to weakness and lack of coordination. Hence I just hooked the pendant over her left chest; then we left both her feet to soak in energized water. She was given continuous massaging of legs, hands, body and head with energized water for 2 hours with hydration extracellularly via spraying; at the same time, we persuaded with encouraging words that her condition is going to improve if she thinks positively and believe in her own strength! Continuing to feed her with lots of energized water, it was amazing to observe first hand that she could slowly move her left hand
up when it slipped away after just over a hour of treatment.

When Jean's son brought back some snacks for us to eat around 3pm, I suggested that Auntie should join us for lunch in the kitchen as there's no space to eat in the living room. We dried her limbs and she appeared so much 'energized'. I told her that she's stronger now and she should try to stand up on both her feet. To give her confidence, Aaron & Jean supported her on both arms. She managed that very well; then I passed her a walking frame, unused & left in the corner of the house for a long time. I taught her how to support her body weight with her hands on the frame and she slowly mobilized her weak left leg with the support of her stronger right leg. She started walking with both men supporting her by her sides. The triumph and joy we all enjoyed was beyond words to see this frail lady walking again!

During lunch, with her slowly recovered strength of her left hand, I showed her how easy for her to use her left hand to support her bowl so that she could feed herself with her right hand. And she did! She was feeding herself with her own efforts! I also noticed that her speech was also improved. She was even alert enough to tell us not to wash the dishes and leave them
for her son to wash!

After lunch, we assisted her to the toilet, after which I attended to her 'pressure-areas', gave her good massages with energized water all over her body. It was fortunate that we visited her in time as she's in the verge of developing 'pressure-sores' on her sacral region. She did complained
to her children that she felt sores on her buttocks, not realizing that she's about develop pressure-sores if her skin is not given proper hydration and care!

We left Kampar around 5pm & reached KL about 7pm. Though coming out very tired from the journey (especially I'm still recovering from my flu), both Aaron & I are much pleased over the excitement of what we have achieved for this Great Mother of 10! It was indeed a Happy Mother's Day.

Ching Ming 2009

After missing out on last year's Ching Ming (Tomb Sweeping Day), which was also my late grandmother's death 1 year anniversary, I had the chance this year to honor it.

I remembered that fateful April evening. I & my younger brother popped over to my uncle's place to have dinner with them. My grandma had just been discharged from the hospital but literally bedridden & unable to move. I'd just worked for a month & was about to fly off overseas on my first assignment. I'd specifically remembered telling my grandma to get well soon so that I can treat her to a meal using my first self-earned paycheck. Sadly, it wasn't even an hour after I kissed her on her forehead & head home, that I'd received a call from my uncle saying that she had passed away. The good news was that she did not have to suffer the years of immobile suffering that her sister had to live through before her own passing.

My uncle later penned a moving poem, dedicated to my grandma. Although I did not live during her era or her hometown Kuala Kangsar, but nearly every line still brings a tear to my eye every time I read this poem. However, my unsuppressed tears... can never compare to what my father feels deep inside when he reads this poem.

I'm glad to see you once again, Ah Ma. You'll always be on my mind too.

~ ~

And so you leave us one last time,
Back to your little town you love so well.
Down by the river, did you say?
Waiting by the simpang, taking in the sights.
O dearest mother of mine,
dressed in kebaya you look so fine.
Wasn't it yesterday you were the belle,
KK's very own has come back to town.

It seems you know everybody in sight,
they call and wave & stop to chat.
Isn't that goh ee & luck ee too?
And you better watch out 'cos cee ee's about.
Oh, don't worry, she can't hurt you.
You are in the realm of eternal peace;
no pain no suffering, only joy.

I see your smile as you greet ah ma,
you are back together after all these years.
And so you will cook for her as you have cook for us.
All those dishes that only you know how.
That would have been nice to leave behind but your knitties are precious anyhow.

Go in peace, Mother Dear.
Your slog your grit I can't repay.
Your legacy is your love for us.
And that will always stay.
WE LOVE YOU, MOM!
Wait for me down by the river too...

~End~

2 Weeks in Shenzhen ++

I was fortunate that circumstances allowed me to attend training in Headquarters in Shenzhen.
And what an eventful 2 weeks it was!

Lecturers delivered their respective presentations quite flawlessly in English. (Frankly, their English was much better than I'd expected!) Managed to cover various topics ranging from product knowledge to technical principles, and project management to company process flows. There even was a day trip to Splendid China thrown in that following weekend.

Splendid China: Isn't that the Five-Fingered Mountain from the Journey to the West classic?

Come the second week, each participant was alloted to a separate department to gain insight into the dept's daily activities & mingle with our HQ interface persons. Even in that week itself we'd managed to have the opportunity to meet with various heads of the company. The meet might've been brief, but it was an honor nevertheless. In between all of that, I & the guys managed to slip in some time to run around in Shenzhen: Dongmen, Huaqiangbei & Luohu. Got myself a new toy too! hehe

By right, a few of us were supposed to hangout in HK for a night before returning to Malaysia. However, duty calls for 3 of them; but the room booking was made.
So, here I am, in a cramped-up budget single room blogging away. Luckily for the open wireless access outside near the reception.

This will be the first & last time I'll ever stay in this "Hotel", I'll say.

Running around from Mongkok down to Tsimsazui wasn't as interesting as I thought. Every turn its either some semi-D shop, roadside vendor, resto/cafe, or entertainment center (go figure). After running around in Shenzhen, firstly its all comparably expensive; secondly I got most of what I wanted already. The best consolation was to be able to meet up from a few friends from HK who I'd not met in a long time.

Thanks to them, I'd a warm session of supper/dessert in the evening & had dimsum in the morning. =)

Dessert: Chocolate Taufufa below; sugar-coated Pastry on the top

Dessert: Chocolate Souffle

Going to fly off to Malaysia later noon. Given a chance, I'd sure like to go back to HQ again for training (& the extra activities that come with it)!

Heart of Greed

Just 2 weeks ago I'd popped in the series' DVD into the player to watch this series which Mom recommended. Like most acclaimed HK series, the drama was immediately gripping.

The funny part was that Mom only handed me the 1st 2 discs, the 3rd disc is back home. The final 13 episodes are back home tucked away in the family TV entertainment collection. And I had just finished episode 27 just 2 nights ago. Argh~ the agony of soap operas ending with a cliffhanger.

Among the characters, I feel particularly connected to the eldest sibling of the children in the Tong family. The trials & tribulations which he had to go through I can pretty much relate a lot. The need to set a fine example to our younger siblings. To take charge of keeping the family together when our parents are no longer around. Inheriting the will of our parents & their values to face a world full of morally-gray areas. Making painful decisions based on those principles for the greater good. Occasionally it brings a tear to my eye that if I could ever become the man my parents aspire me to become.

*Sigh* Better not think about... as if pressure from work is not enough.

I'll temporarily be spending the long weekend here overseas. Hopefully when I get back home next week there is time to wallop the remaining episodes. Then perhaps I can move on to something more current, like, Gem of Life. hehe

Series' promotional poster.

A Missing Element - Feeling

Back overseas again. Sadly I wasn't able to do what I had planned during CNY. But I suppose it is for the better. A Week after Barentyne's, I was recently engaged in two separate conversations which drifted into the topic of relationships.

A Heart Made Whole (Mine needs a thread-and-needle set)

In the first, I happened to list out to a friend various important elements which are present in a positively-progressive relationship. Commitment. Trust. Patience. Consistent proximity. Shared Values. Some planning. Then she'd happened to point out one element I had missed out. I was surprised that I had missed out the Feeling.

To which in my second conversation with another friend, all the elements fell into place. First impressions are important as far as making your own introduction is concerned. However, the Feeling is like a spark of a potential relationship. Without feeling, even if his/her introduction was cordial, the relationship would only grow to be simply another branch of your networking. When two individuals mutually have the Feeling, this would then only lead into the other elements of trust due to such mutual attraction. Then, only after that one can practice consistent proximity, patience, commitment & the like.

The outcome of the second conversation ended with my other friend recommending me to write a "Simple guide to Relationships" for being able to construct such detailed thought like a flowchart. That way many single newbies won't need to fret anymore over hesitation or to be simply overcome by infatuation over a desired target.

But, Nah... The irony of even writing such a book, when I myself am not even close to benefit from the fruits of my consistent practicing of what I preach. That which I had not done continues to haunt me often when my thoughts are free. I guess lacking the Feeling element was the prime cause for that failure. Yet, I persist in seeking solace in a most unorthodox way.

Rantings aside, I only can wonder: If the Feeling does come late, would fortune ever smile once more on the repentant procrastinator?

牛 (New) Beginnings

恭喜发财 & A Prosperous Lunar New Year to all!

With less than 6 hours to go for the turn of the 牛 year, and also another half hour until my Reunion dinner (^_^), its time to put the past year again into memory, and, looking forward, aspire for new experiences and opportunities in this Year of the Ox.

With regards to the previous entry, I feel a lot better now. I finally am able to put my past mistakes and persistent irrationalities behind me. But enough of the past, & look forward to 15 days of festivities! Scrumptious food. New clothes. Open house events. Gatherings. So much to look forward to!

And after all that, I'm certain that the Year of the Ox would be a fresh start for all & worth looking forward to. Happy Holidays!

Hesitant from the Start

"Why Hesitate" by Henry Gillard Glindoni (1899)

When you want to profess that you like her, you hold yourself back for fear of the outcome of rejection & gossip.

When you could have the courage to declare your true feelings to her, you hesitate for fear of a worst outcome.

When you want to hold her hand, you dare not for fear that she shies away from you.

When you could have delivered gestures of interest (flowers or gifts), you dismiss that thought for fear that she would return it back.

When you should have shared your true troubles with her, a candidate for lifetime companionship, you instead resort to keeping it inside or disclosing it to other much closer friends.

When you should have invested more time to probe for actual signs of interest, you'd rather busy yourself with short term distractions.

Now she has found her own candidate. You are only able to wish her well, that her future mate would likely provide for her needs & wants.

Heartbroken you are still sitting in that same dark corner. Lonely. Crying. Perhaps drunk even.

It does not serve as a consolation that it was all in your mind. A fabrication of false expectations & perceived reality.

However, licking your emotional wounds, you know this experience had made you stronger. Hopefully, in future, you would be all the wiser.

But how much punishment can a man take? Must one always be pushed to choose either to bend or break?

No... Wait... Let us recollect: You have always been hesitant from the start.

All this talk about Like; Love; Heart; Her. Are you really seeking for your soulmate? Or are you merely wanting her simply for the purpose of matching your peers who have found their better half?

Search your heart; Search your soul. When you're finally there, you'll search no more.
(This was part of the lyrics from "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams)

Then, probably you would not be hesitant no more.